List
by supernerd3333
Summary: Mokuba gathered the Yugi gang to find out who Kaiba may like and hook them up. Cliché and pointless. SYY. Don't own Yugioh. Forgot to put it the first time.


Title: List

Author: supernerd3333

Rated: PG-13

Summary: Mokuba gathered the Yugi gang to find out who Kaiba may like and hook them up. Cliché and pointless. S/YY.

Warning: Kaiba/Yami, don't like please don't read. I suck at romance. Very cliché and pointless. Weirdness. English is my second language, so very bad writing skills.

I wrote this after watching NBA Fastbreak. It was listing the strengths and weaknesses of Spurs and Pistons. This idea just came and I couldn't get it out of my mind. Basketball makes me do weird things.

Flame welcome, but do NOT bash the pairing. That is just stupid.

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"Your eyes are the must brilliant jewels on earth."

Kaiba rubbed his face roughly. Why? Why can't he get those eyes out of his mind? Ever since he saw Yugi's "twin," (like hell he's going to admit Yami's a pharaoh) he couldn't stay one second without thinking about those eyes. "Your eyes are the most brilliant jewels on earth." How on earth could he understand that sentence in Arabic is beyond him. But it sounds so familiar, like he had said it before.

'Arrr… nonsense. I've never said it. Stupid brain, maybe I should let Yami mind crush you again so you can stop thinking such nonsense, and as a plus I get to see his eyes. Arrr… not again." He started to pinch the bridge of his nose to clear his head. 'Maybe some sleep would be nice.'

OK, maybe sleep wasn't the brightest idea. At least when he was conscious, he could somewhat control his train of thought and maintain the fascination at the eyes. When he was sleeping, his mind wandered to …erm… some other places. And those eyes were filled with passion that he couldn't deny. The result is not cool, or clean for that matter. Arrr, heaven knows he needs some psychological help. 'Or maybe just get Yami.' But his mind quickly dismissed that idea.

"Big brother." Mokuba's voice snapped him out of his thoughts, but nothing prepared him for what was coming next. "Are you interested in someone?"

"WHAT?" How did the kid know? The last thing he needs is for Mokuba to know this, which would inevitably cause the Yugi gang to know, which would cause Yami to know. "Of course I don't. I am too busy to be interested in anyone. What give you that idea?" He demanded sternly.

Mokuba studied his face carefully before stating: "You were muttering in your sleep about someone having beautiful eyes."

Kaiba blanched. Did he say that out aloud in his sleep? He knew sleeping was a bad idea. "Mokuba, whatever it is, don't talk about it again."

"But Seto, I want you to be happy." Mokuba said with a sincere and almost desperate look on his face.

Kaiba's expression instantly softened as he stroked his brother's hair fondly. "Mokuba, if you want what's best for me, then don't ever talk about it again. He would never return the feeling." He added a sad smile. Yes he knew that someone as caring as Yami was never going to like some jerk like him. It was a lost course. Unable to stand his brother's sympathetic gaze, he left the room in a hurry.

Mokuba gazed at his brother's retreating form. 'So it's a he, huh?' An idea flashed in his mind.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

"Remind me why I am here again?" Bakura drawled as he sank in the couch of the game shop.

"We are here because moneybags has some boyfriend problems and Mokuba wants us to help that jerk with it." Joey stated, not too enthusiastic about the job. "Seriously, why should I help him? Why should I put some poor guy into that bastard's hands of doom?"

"JOEY!" The two turned their heads as the rest of the group walked in except Yami, who was tending the shop. In the front was a very red and indignant Mokuba, clearly angry about what Joey said earlier, along with Yugi who was shaking his head in disapproval. "How could you say that about my big brother. Deep inside, he has a very caring heart and he would give all he has to ones he truly loves. Look at how he treats me."

"Hehe…Yeah, sorry about that." Joey scratched his head as a blush crept up to his face form embarrassment. "I shouldn't have said that about anyone, even Kaiba. I'm sorry." Joey shifted his legs as Bakura sniggered in the back.

"It's alright Joey." Said Mokuba flashing a smile. "Now, let's find out who Seto's crush is and hook them up."

"Oh, the joy."

"What is that, Tristan?"

"Um…I said, let's do it, yeah!"

Mokuba raised an eyebrow but said nothing about it. He walked to the middle of the room as the rest of the group who were trying very hard to feint interest sat around him. "OK, here is the situation. Seto likes some guy but doesn't want to tell him. So let's figure out who he would like to narrow it down."

"Uh huh. The only information we have narrow it down to half of the world population."

"Duke, don't be so pessimistic." Said Serenity. "Mokuba said that this person has beautiful eyes, and I am sure we can get some information about the person from Mr. Kaiba's personality."

"Serenity is right," Yugi agreed. "Kaiba seems to be the dominant type, so the other should be more likely on the bottom. In that case, the guy would be a little feminine. Maybe lean and not too tall."

"That's true, but Seto does not like the clingy type, so the guy should have dominant spirit, constantly challenging him. He would like that, always up for a challenge."

"Uh huh, and knowing how vain Kaiba is, probably good looking." Joey added wryly.

"Don't say that Joey." Ryou said quiet timidly. "Look isn't the only thing, for one to be in love, respect is also much needed."

Bakura snickered at those words and spat: "Stupid light, so into those love things."

"Bakura, don't say that." Tea reprimanded. "Ryou is right, which means the guy we are looking for should be very intelligent, probably rivals his own."

"Yeah, should be strong in strength, dedicated, maybe good at Duel Monster." Tristan added.

"Now if I know one thing about the priest," said Bakura with the all-knowing smirk on his face, "he is not the romantic type. Love by first sight is not for him."

"Agreed. Whoever this guy is, Seto must know him pretty well to fall for him." Said Mokuba. "Now, I think we have gathered enough information to narrow it done a little. So let's see what we got so far. Tea, let me see the minute."

"Only a Kaiba would keep a minuet at this type of setting." Duke muttered as Tea gave it to Mokuba.

"Whatever." Mokuba said in a very Kaiba-like manner. "This man that Seto likes should be a little feminine but with a dominant spirit, have my brother's respect and is handsome, intelligent, and strong. They have to know each other pretty well. The most striking feature should be his eyes. Anyone has any suggestion?"

"No, but you are scaring me with the tone that sounds too much like Kaiba." Joey answered with a raised eyebrow, which earned him an even more Kaiba like glare.

"Joey, stay on the topic." Mokuba snarled with barely controlled anger.

"If you change 'Joey' to 'mutt,' I would have sworn you were Kaiba, guess it runs in the family." Tristan commented.

Seeing that Mokuba was even more pissed off, Yugi plays the peace keeper. "I don't want to say this but there is no one I know that fits the list. How many people does Kaiba know and how many does he respect? How many people with dominant spirit would want to be at the bottom?"

"That's true, isn't it? I guess there's no one like that, huh?" Mokuba said dejectedly. "After all he has done for me, I can't find the one person that can make him happy, what kind of a brother am I?" Tear was starting to form in Mokuba's eyes. He wanted to help his brother so much but he was failing miserably.

The rest of the group couldn't help but feel sorry for the little guy. Sure they didn't like the elder Kaiba, but if pairing Kaiba with someone would make Mokuba happy, they were going to do it.

Yugi flung his arm around Mokuba's shoulder and said encouragingly. "Don't worry, we are going to find that person no matter what, OK?"

At this time, Yami entered the room after closing the store. "What's with all the long faces?"

Mokuba answered with teary eyes: "We are trying to find out who is the guy my brother is crushing on and hook them up, but we can't find out who he is."

"Oh? What trait does this guy have?"

"We have a list, but the traits on there can not possibly be in one person." Yugi said with disappointment.

"Let's try some likely candidates. How about Joey? You two throw insults enough times to be well acquainted." Yami said with a smirk as Joey screamed at him, indignant about Yami's proposal.

After finally calming Joey down, Duke said to Yami: "Let's face it, unless you think calling Joey 'mutt' is being respectful, it's not going to work."

"Yeah," Tristan agreed, "and Joey is not exactly very high on the intelligence hierarchy."

Joey nodded vehemently. "Yeah… wait a sec, are you saying I'm stupid?" He glared at Tristan.

"See what I mean?" Tristan laughed as Joey tackled him to the floor.

"OK, maybe Joey is not the best choice." Yami chortled. "How about you, Duke, or Malik? You guys are intelligent enough, and definitely feminine enough to be on the bottom."

"Whoh… man, what did I ever do to you?" Duke replied with a shocked expression. "OK, maybe I try to get rid of the game shop, take away your title, destroy your reputation, and stop you from dueling ever again, but that doesn't mean you should try to pair Kaiba and me up. I don't even know him!"

Yami nodded. "That's true. Malik doesn't know him either. What about Yugi then? You two definitely know each other well."

"Yami!" Yugi cried with a flushed face. "Kaiba doesn't really respect me. He would totally ignore me if it had not been your presence inside to make him want to duel you. By the way, I don't have that kind of dominant spirit. To him, I'm more like a casual acquaintance that he can more or less tolerate."

"That's true and it means Ryou is out as well. Hey, maybe Bakura. Ra knows he has a dominant spirit." Yami laughed.

Bakura, on the other hand, found it in no way amusing. He stood form the sofa at his full height. The psychotic expression seen on him so often during Battle City returned. "Are you suggesting that I am in any way feminine and would be on the bottom, pharaoh?" He said with the infamous vampire voice as people sitting around him scooted away nervously

Yami merely raised an eyebrow at this but he has to admit, "no, you two would probably fight all day to decide who's on top. This is harder than I thought. How about I go get you guys some snacks first?"

"Yeah, snacks." Joey and Tristan cheered, quickly forgetting Kaiba's problem.

"With all the food they eat, if any of those two is Kaiba's crush, he would definitely turn Kaiba from a billionaire to millionaire." Duke commented as Yami left the room.

"Come on, Duke, we don't eat that much." Joey retorted. "By the way, now I don't even think Kaiba can have a crush. I mean, look at the list. The only person I know Kaiba respects is Yami. How many people, except Yami, have such fiery spirit inside so small and thin a body. And Kaiba doesn't think anyone would match him in intelligence, look, or strength, except probably Yami. He wouldn't even stand any of us except when he has to duel Yami. And we are about the only people who really knew him, and Yami is the only one he bothered to get to know."

By then everyone was staring at Joey, who was looking very confused. "Was it something I said?"

"Guys, does it seem weird that Yami fits every description on the list?" Yugi finally said after the initial shock.

"Could it be Yami that my big brother likes?"

Yami, who always had a great timing, appeared from the kitchen. "OK, now, what's with all these shocked faces?"

"Yami, has it ever occurred to you that you fit all the criteria?" Duke asked.

"What? No." Yami said shocked and slightly embarrassed. "And I don't fit. That's not possible. Kaiba can't possibly like me. There must be something you guys haven't thought of. Maybe there are others that fit that you guys haven't thought of or don't know about." Yami desperately tried to reason out of it.

"Yami, you couldn't find any other people just then."

"Well, I just didn't think enough. OK, think, how about Weevil?"

"Err…"

"Wait no, Pegusus?"

"Um…"

"That doesn't work either, then Shadi?"

"Who?"

"Oh, yeah, no one knows about him. What about Mokuba?"

"YAMI!"

"Oh right, you are brothers." Yami paced the room frantically trying to think of a name. Then a Kuribo shaped light bulb suddenly appeared. "Ah, Amelda. He is feminine, strong, and intelligent. Kaiba respects him, kind of, and definitely knows his whole life. Hell, they even have the same life experience. I have finally found the right man." Yami declared triumphantly. The confident smirk returned with the speed of Kaiba's jet.

The rest of the group thought for a minute before Mokuba replied: "If Seto likes Amelda, why doesn't he just get himself a girl? That androgynous guy freaking cross dresses. By the way, my brother really like that person's eyes and your eyes are of the most striking color." Mokuba added with a smile.

"Mokuba, there is no way your brother likes me, OK? And why would I want to be with Kaiba, or be at the bottom for that matter?" Said Yami while pacing around.

"You are short, thin, and you dress like you want someone to rip your pants off, need I go on, pharaoh?"

"Yeah, and the rest of your list is probably the same as my brother's, which he definitely fits. And why would anyone not want to be with my brother?"

"Guess modesty is never a dominant trait on the Kaiba family. And you wonder why I don't want to be with that guy?" Yami muttered.

Before Mokuba could protest, Bakura spoke up. "Pharaoh, are you afraid that he likes you, or that he doesn't like you? As far as I can remember, you and the priest were an item back in Egypt. And he did comment on your eyes, something about jewels."

"That was 3000 years agog. It doesn't count." Yami refuted before adding suspiciously. "How on earth did you know what he said?"

"So he did say that?" Yugi asked eagerly.

"That was not the point."

"And Bakura, you knew about this and didn't say it to help us earlier because?" Mokuba questioned.

"Well, it was fun to see you guys so worried and helpless earlier. But now, it's even funnier to see the pharaoh so flustered." Bakura answered with a smirk.

"Tomb Robber! How did you know? Answer my question."

"OK, OK. One time, I just got to some storage room in the palace to steal before you tow busted in and began to divest each other. Luckily, you two were too preoccupied to notice me. I didn't have enough power to kill you two then so I had to hide behind a desk in a corner. That was when I heard your mushy talks, some of which I don't want to relive. And to think you two did that in the storage room. No need to say, I never went there to steal again." Bakura said between disgust and amusement.

Yami's face was now beet red, regretting for asking the question. But a full-fledged smile was plastered on everyone else's face.

"Oww… You and Seto were so close back then? Why didn't you ever tell us that?"

"To avoid this." Yami spat as the doorbell rang. "I'll get it."

The rest of the group smiled as the former pharaoh made his haste exit. "Now Yami knows our scheme, the difficult part is to get them to meet." Said Mokuba. Then they heard Yami's voice. "Oh, hello, Kaiba."

"Or maybe not that hard."

"Everyone, quick, hide in the restroom." Mokuba commanded. "I'll leave them a note."

As everyone run to the bathroom to hide, Mokuba quickly scribbled on a notebook paper: "Seto, we are off to the park. Wait here for 30 min. Mokuba." Then he ran to the restroom as well.

Meanwhile, outside the game shop, two slightly nervous figures politely greeted each other.

'It's him. OK, come on Kaiba, it's alright.' "Yami, I am here to pick up Mokuba."

"Of course, I'll go get him." 'Then he won't have a chance to play matchmaker.'

"No, I'll go get him myself. If you go, he may just beg you to ask me to let him stay a little bit longer." 'Or maybe I just want to be with you a little bit longer.' "He may seem very nice, but he is a handful sometimes."

'Tell me about it.' "If you want to, please come in."

"I parked the car in front of the game shop. Is that OK?" 'Why am I being so polite?'

'Kaiba is polite? Scary thought.' "Yes, the shop is closed, so no one's going to use the front door."

Kaiba nodded as he followed Yami into the game shop, but the two were greeted with an empty living room.

"They were just here a few seconds ago."

"There's a note. Seems like they are going to the park for 30 minutes. Guess my brother really wants to hang out with those idio… I mean, your friends."

'Or he just wants us to spend some time alone, but you don't need to know that.' "So, you want to wait here?"

"If I may." 'I want to stay with you, even if it's just 30 minutes.'

"Of course, some tea?" 'Good thing you want to stay, I haven't seen you for so long.'

"Thank you."

Silence reigned as two rivals sat there staring at the ground and the rest of the group growing impatient.

'Come on, think of something to say' "Today's weather is nice." Kaiba mentally hit himself at that. 'Ar…No wonder he doesn't like me. That's the worst pickup line ever.'

Lucky for him, Yami seemed to be very interested in weather. 'At least we have something to talk about.' "Yes, 20C, just right. In Egypt, it's hotter most of the time."

"I've never been in desert before, but I believe it's very cold at night."

"Indeed. The temperature changes dramatically form day to night."

"Um… Tropical desert biome, usually with less than 30 cm of precipitation annually."

"Yes, it rarely rains in desert. But my palace was along Nile River, so it provides enough water."

"Of course, all of the ancient civilizations developed along rivers. Tell me, how do you bear the scorching heat without any modern means of cooling."

"You just bear it. The heat usually won't kill you. At least we didn't need to endure the cold weather like ancient Chinese civilization along the Yellow River did."

"Indeed. It never snow in Egypt, so no one would die from harsh winter..."

As the two kept their little discussion in the living room, inside the bathroom, people were either shaking their heads, slapping their faces, or clenching their fists trying hard not to kill anyone.

"I officially declare those two suck." Joey announced.

"Don't say that!" Mokuba and Yugi protested simultaneously.

"They had been talking about _weather_ for the last _15_ minutes." Tristan said desperately.

"Yeah. And you say I am stupid." Joey muttered.

"Well, on the plus side. If you listen, you won't fail the Geography test." Yugi laughed quiet forcefully.

"Arr… That's enough!" Bakura roared. He kicked open the bathroom door, revealing two stunned figures on the couch.

"Tomb robber? I thought you went to the park."

"I wish! I have been staying in that cramped up bathroom of yours, listening to you guys talking about freaking WEATHER for the last 15 minutes, just because that brat" pointing to Mokuba who was laughing nervously " wanted you two to have some time alone."

"Time alone? Mokuba…" Kaiba narrowed his eyes at his little brother who was hiding behind Yugi.

"Now, I am going to say this once so you two better listen. You guys loved each other 3000 years ago and you still love each other now. So why don't you get those sticks out of your asses and just kiss, hug, screw, WHATEVER! Arrr…" Bakura growled as he stormed out of the game shop, leaving the rest of the gang stunned.

"So, hehe…We'll just go out to the park now. Be back in a while Seto." Mokuba said nervously as he hurried out of the game shop, followed by the rest of the gang.

Inside the two rivals sat there nervously. After gathering enough courage, Yami finally said: "Listen, Kaiba, about just then…"

But Kaiba didn't really need word then. That small blush on the flawless face made him bold enough to take some impulsive actions. He didn't wait till Yami finish to press his lips against Yami's, a kiss that the smaller man eagerly returned.

After a minute of mucous rubbing (courtesy to my bio teacher), the two broke apart. Kaiba put Yami into his lap. Looking into the ruby eyes, he said what was said 3000 years ago: "Your eyes are the most brilliant jewels on earth."

"The same can be said to you, my blue eyes." Yami said giving Kaiba a peck on the lips.

Kaiba smiled for the first time in a long time before it turned into a smirk. "So, my precious, do you think we should follow Bakura's third advice?"

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Ha, there goes my second story. Ar, this story has no plot whatsoever. I can't believe I wrote this, but anyway, hope you guys weren't so traumatized by this. Now, I just need to waste the rest of my day till tonight, Spurs vs. Pistons 5th match. YEAH! I love both teams, so no matter who wins, one of my favorite teams will lose. Oh well. Hopefully next year, Rockets will get in, so I would have no problem picking a favorite. Go Houston Rockets, even though they lost.

OK, enough babbling, hope you have a great summer.


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